Bullying At Work And The Office Bully
&
How to Deal with Sexual Harassment in the Work Place
Everyone has the right to be treated with dignity and respect wherever they may be, whether it’s walking the dog in the park, grocery shopping or standing in a queue waiting for the bus. The instances I have witnessed over the years quite astounds me. I remember an incident years ago on the Waterloo and City Line. I was waiting at the point marked on the platform and as usual it really was very busy. Two young men at the front of the queue got very upset with each other. One accused the other of pushing in, it got very loud and suddenly the offender was the recipient of a punch on the nose. They both got on the same train; they both arrived at Bank Tube Station as they normally did each day. What on earth was it all about? Didn’t they both achieve what they wanted having successfully travelled to their destination?
We hear more and more about instances where individuals “loose control” for just a few seconds, after which they then expect everything to go on as usual! However, people in minority groups are more vulnerable to being bullied and harassed than those from majority groups. As an ex HR Consultant, I’ve had to act as referee in the workplace on several occasions. It used to be that these instances were few and far between, but they do seem to be happening with increasing frequency. So what is happening? Is our control slipping? Or are we becoming less tolerant of these “human” infractions?
Ten to fifteen years ago, if a woman had broached the subject of her boss bullying her, she would have had to leave her job for fear of reprisal. I’m glad to see and hear that this has at last changed. However, there are still many instances of workplace bullying and there are many people whose lives, both at work and away from that setting, have been severely affected, if not ruined in some cases, by bullies.
In the UK, we use the term "bullying" to refer to a specific form of persistent aggravation: offensive, abusive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behavior, which includes abuse of power or managerial influence and which causes the recipient to suffer untold stress. It’s no coincidence that we use a word that most people associate with the playground. Like the child bully, the adult bully usually picks his victim as a result of some perceived weakness that he/she thinks can be exploited. Bullies are usually very clever at recognising peoples’ vulnerabilities and they use these “weaknesses” to create a hostile working environment.
Those who are minority groups in the workplace can sometimes be members of groups that, usually in the overall company scenario, are majority groups and they are no less immune to bullying behavior. Here’s an example: a solitary male manager, working with a team of women who know each other well, can be bullied, derided and made to feel totally incompetent at the hands of the majority group, i.e.: the female group.
We all have characteristics or traits that we prefer not to talk about in certain situations or to have them aired in the public arena. This is particularly true when they are not relevant to our ability to do our work. People with disabilities are in this category and they don't want to be treated differently or have the disability constantly referred to. I know this from first hand experience having had to use a wheelchair after a car accident left my back and pelvis broken.
Some people seem to think they have the right to make comments about someone else's personal issues. I’ve never been a small person, but neither have I been hugely overweight. On one memorable occasion I received a big box of chocolates from my boss as a thank you for helping to complete a project on time. I thought the gesture was very generous and I was really happy. But the happiness was floored when he said “make sure you share them, we don’t want you to get any bigger than you are!” I was stunned and speechless as well as mortified.
Ageism is now illegal in the workplace. I worked very briefly for a well known search and selection organisation based in London. I received a call from a company that marketed candidates seeking work who were over 40. As it happened, I had just turned 40, I passed the call over to my boss who proceeded to say to the person on the phone, “thank you but no thank you, we already have one person of 40 and we don’t want any more!” It might be good to point out that I didn’t get on with my boss and I found another job in a more “understanding and friendly” environment.
It is a disturbing tendency that minority groups have an increased likelihood of being on the receiving end of bullying and harassment disguised as humor. Both employers and employees need to be aware that bullying and harassment disguised as humor is still classified as bullying and harassment.
"I didn’t mean it, it was only a joke, we were only having a bit of fun" is not an excuse for harassment or bullying. The important thing is to remember that bad behavior isn’t about whatever objectives the perpetrator has, it’s about the effect it has on the recipient.
In any bullying situation, the best recourse is always to seek help and advice. While there may not yet be direct legislation affecting it, bullying and harassment is still against the law. Find out what your employer's Equal Opportunities Policy, Dignity at Work Policy, or any other policy that covers bullying and harassment, says and find out who you can talk to first. It may be the line manager, if he/she is not involved in the inappropriate behavior. Alternatively, speak to someone in personnel or human resources.
Organisations can only ensure that their policies are being adhered to if they are told about what is going on. The days where people who are being bullied and harassed at work and having to leave and find another job are not over, but if we speak out about these injustices, then the sooner something can be done about it. We tend not to hear one voice, but many voices make a big noise.
What to do about bullying at work:
- Talk to others within the workplace - colleagues, supervisor, personnel
department, trade union representative.
- Take advice on the options open to you to deal with this e.g. by making a formal complaint through the grievance procedure.Find out whether your place of work has an Anti-Bullying Policy in operation.
- Keep a diary of all incidents with dates and times and copies of
any notes, memos etc. from the bully which you feel constitute bullying,
intimidation, harassment etc.
- Write to the bully clearly saying that you find their behaviour
is unacceptable and amounts to bullying and set out the reasons why
you believe this. Keep copies of any letters you send to the bully.
- If it is possible to tape conversations where you are being bullied,
then do so.
- Try to look at ways of being assertive and standing up to the bully.
- If other colleagues witness any incidents where you are being bullied
ask them whether they would be willing to write a statement relating
to what they witnessed.
- If you have to take time off sick due to being bullied at work ask your GP to record this on your certificate.
- Talk to someone. When a person is being bullied they
often feel very isolated, vulnerable and alone. It is important to
speak to someone in order to gain support for yourself and to lessen
the sense of isolation.
Remember, people often bully others through jealousy. Victims of bullying are often popular with their colleagues and good and efficient at their work. People who bully are invariably cowards which is why they often intimidate others to join in with, or endorse, or turn a blind eye to the bullying. People who bully others often lead sad, unfulfilled, shallow and meaningless lives and have nothing more constructive to do with their time than bully and make those around them feel miserable.
If you are a victim of bullying or know someone who is and want to do something about it, the following organisations may be able to help you:
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SupportLine: 01708 765200, email info@supportline.org.uk - Telephone Helpline providing confidential emotional support to Children, Young Adults and Adults on any issue. Particularly aimed at those who are vulnerable, isolated, at risk groups and victims of any form of abuse. Also provides details of counsellors and support groups across the UK.
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ACAS: 08457 474747, www.acas.org.uk - For information and advice on employment rights/bullying at work.
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www.bullyonline.org - lots of useful information for anyone being bullied at work.
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www.equalityhumanrights.com - useful information relating to rights and dignity at work.
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Just Fight On: www.jfo.org.uk - Information and support groups for those who have been bullied at work.
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The London Support Group (LSG): www.jfo.org.uk - A group of people who have suffered from workplace bullying and meet at various locations in and around London on a monthly basis. Membership of the group is open to targets of bullying only and offer a secure internet forum for keeping in touch between meetings.
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TUC online: www.tuc.org.uk - Support, advice for anyone being bullied at work.
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www.pcaw.co.uk - Public Concern at Work is an independent authority on whistle blowing. Provides free help to whistleblowers and gives advice.
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www.safeworkers.co.uk - Useful information includes workplace bullying, discrimination, employment law etc.
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www.workplacebullying.co.uk - Workplace bullying, stress, employment law and you.
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www.workworries.com - Help with people problems at work including bullying and employee rights.
Bully In Sight. Overcoming the Silence and Denial by Which
Abuse Thrives
Forward by Diana Lamplugh and written by Tim Field, Publishers Success
Unlimited: ISBN 0952912104
For more information and advice
Telephone:
02381 785282
Email:
Copyright (c) The Filmore CV 2014
